I still could not stop myself from bursting into tears at the thought of grinding away in a foreign country, doing something that I knew I would not enjoy. I had already convinced myself that I was not good at the things that I really wanted to do, so going for a PhD had seemed like a bitter pill that I just had to swallow. I found my corporate job hollow and unfulfilling. But the truth is, I did not panic because I did not care. I calmly navigated my way through airline counters, sorting out the alternative flight bookings, and managed to reach the apartment that I had rented for the first 15 days of my stay. Yet, with the long flights I had to take on my maiden journey abroad and the unforeseen adjustments that had to be made because of the delayed flight, I was not flustered in the least bit. I was scared of flying, even on short domestic routes. Now I am someone who has had to struggle with anxiety all her life, and travel has always been a trigger. When my flight out of Kolkata got delayed, it became clear that I would miss the two connecting flights, one from Doha and the other from Philadelphia. I was travelling alone, and though I had moved out of the small town I grew up in at 16 and had lived on my own in three different Indian cities, this was my first time flying out of the country. In July 2018 I embarked on a one and a half day long journey to the U.S.
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